Will the pattern be repeated?
I am a newly civilized creature from the hostel jungle. I walk around the more-than-one roomS of my house in confusion. What do I do with all this space? Anybody wanna couchsurf?
The shower is amazing. I was raised with an ethos of care for energy and water use, so just standing in the steam feels illicit, but surely I can break the law just a liiiittle, right? God that feels good. (And I don’t even have to wear flip flops.) You can try it when you’re couchsurfing.
Man, what a kitchen. Plenty of counter space, all the burners work, and I have no problem putting my stuff in the fridge or finding it later. The dishes are clean, the sink empty. We have two ovens. Why the hell do we have two ovens? Was this a bakery in a former life? Anybody need a place to bake?
And I’m in love thrice over, twelve legs to complement my two. They’re far too lovable to summarize in a paragraph, but suffice to say those furry bastards leave me shaking my head and laughing on a regular basis. Anybody need some animal love?
I have too many blessings not to want to share.
The location is ideal, with one of America’s better mass transit systems (not the most competitive title in the world) a mere block away, plus a drug-addled spider’s web of bus lines that I have not learned well yet, since the streets are relatively conducive to bicycicular passage as well.
San Francisco is close at hand, where friends abide in warm houses with chairs at the table ready for my visit. The same in towns throughout the Bay Area, and it’s not inconceivable that I would hear my name called on the street some day. There are people here who recognize me. If I keeled over dead in the gutter…my people would find out about it.
I don’t mean that to be dramatic, it’s just not what I’m used to.
There is a level of food security here that is unimaginable for billions of people around the world, not to mention the awed and wasted faces of millennia past.
I have clean clothes. Every day. I wash them before they stink. It’s nearly free. I’ve even bought more of them, though I think I could still carry all my physical possessions at one time if I had to…but it’s getting more precarious. I’d better make two trips, or I’ll look like the junk woman from Labyrinth.
I’m getting work done at a better pace than ever before, and I feel almost good enough about it to share with a few more people.
Yup, life is pretty damn good right now.
Sooo…why do I wake up with varying degrees of a racing heart most nights? This doesn’t happen when I’m on the road. Is the project too daunting? The To-Do List too relentlessly undone? Someonething missing? Or is it just the adjustment of a vagabond to stationary life?
Earlier this month was the five year anniversary of leaving for my first big solo backpacker wander. It snuck by, a vagabond in the night, without my noticing until it had already left town. I wasn’t this Me yet when I left, but who am I now?
This is my third extended stay in the US since leaving my previous life. The first time, I lived with friends in lovely Portland, Oregon, but barely made it four months before I had to fly across an ocean to get my rhythm back. March 2010.
The second time I was house-sitting for friends, a beautiful house in a beautiful place with a kickass feline, and I didn’t sleep through the night a single time in the three month span. Cross the ocean. March 2012.
Now here I am, about to finish my first month stateside. Third time’s the charm? Or will the pattern continue? Will I cross the ocean in March 2014?
Whatever you decide, we love you and are just glad for the time we do have to spend with you! And if you end up half way across the world again, you’re still welcome to come home to us whenever!
Additionally, 2 OVENS?!?!?! We really need to move to Rockridge now.
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I do remember correctly that you have chairs at your table, right? Because I’m sure I remember the welcoming part correctly. ; )
Yup, two ovens, just waiting for miscellaneous baked good in the top and monkey bread in the bottom. ; )
(Actually, if I ever can’t pay my rent, can you come make monkey bread? I’m positive my roommate would accept it in lieu of payment.)
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If said monkey bread will ensure that you stay in the area a little bit longer, then definitely!
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I think it’s the adjustment; and/or you haven’t actually found ‘home’ yet so maybe you will fly off again…but give it some time to feel right.
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I think you’re right, that it’s the adjustment. And I need to find my feet with regards to regular social interaction…at this point it comes in fits and bursts. I think my only conversation yesterday consisted of “large chai, please”. (I tried to talk to the barista more, actually, but that guy was the least chatty coffeeshop employee I have ever met.)
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bad froth day maybe 😉
maybe always will come in fits and bursts…does that here
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Awesome dude… Almost 1 month :)… When it is time, you will know…. Till then enjoy and control the racing heart ;).
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🙂 I think you’re right about knowing when it’s time, although for me it’s usually more of a rising tide, not a sudden revelation. But I’m hoping to stick around for a bit this time, I’ve got a good situation worked out here.
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Ride on :).
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So about the 12 extra legs…cats? Dogs? Both? Something more exotic?
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: ) I’d love to build suspense, but unfortunately there’s nothing too exotic rambling around here. I’ll see if we can adopt a coatamundi…
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I rise to the challenge. Baking fest of 2013 is now in the planning stages.
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Ha! Bring it on! I’ll just need to keep a finger free from flour so I can take pictures periodically. (With a sentence that naturally alliterative, the very English language endorses the project.)
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I think the time will come too soon when you have to stay put, so the devil’s advocate says, “Why fight the urge?”
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When I *have* to stay put? Now you’re scaring me! Are you an oracle? I knew it!
You’re right of course, I still have vagabond urges too, but at this point the stationary ones are demanding recognition, so why fight that? (Plus, this life includes a lot more ice cream.)
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Nope, I’m not an oracle. I used to try to buy things that were too big to fit in a suitcase, but that obviously didn’t work. Ice cream is probably a better motivator than heavy objects.
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Very true. I haven’t yet met the bed I can’t walk away from, but a proper serving of helado? That’s a different story. Actually, now that you mention it, I think we went looking for ice cream in Azogues, and ended up in a big fancy hotel by the river, lots of reddish-orange glass? I think they were out.
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I loved that post haha it reminded me of when I first came back ‘home’ after 9 months in backpackers hostels… Most days i still wake up wondering what I am doing in that huge bed. I thought i would give home a proper chance for once, but 9 months later it’s still not working and everyone around me is counting the days till i explode and take off again…
whatever you choose to do, there’ll come a time it will be so clear there will be no wondering anymore, till then enjoy what you have 🙂
M.
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I think you’re right, it’s key to try and enjoy/appreciate wherever you are, whether that’s overseas or at home, spartan, grimy, or luxurious. And to be honest, I’m enjoying some of this luxury right now. Did you know you can just drink the tapwater here? And it tastes great!
Good luck with your reintegrations, domestic and abroad.
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Who knows what’s ‘plenty’ better than a gypsy? One big experience… life changing one.
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And the thing I didn’t realize before, a life changing experience can be a sneaky thing that happens over the course of weeks, months…
If the only constant in life is change, then life itself is a life-changing experience. Or maybe I just had one too many chocolate peanut-butter cups. ; )
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True…those changes happen.To change us slowly over years..to stay deep in us..to create a different person of us. Fortunate that you saw the world… its struggle, the deprivation,and know what is excess.
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So – does that mean we met right at the beginning of your first big backpacking wander? I can’t believe that was five years ago. What a blur that time was for me – new life in a new continent and new language with a broken foot. I couldn’t’ve hung those pictures without you and kept the plant in its little pumpkin pot even as I moved to Germany the next year. 🙂 Let me know when you come up to Canada. I promise to be a much better-settled host here!
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Aretha! Marvelous surprise! Yup, that was in the early days of my first wander. Ah, good old days. Glad to hear the plant survived, and I’d forgotten about the pumpkin pot, ha! You were a magnificent host (that was the first smokey European student-bar I’d been to)! Whereabouts in Canada are you? I’ll let you know if I’m anywhere close, and you do the same if you’re down California-way, okay?
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Oh I’d forgotten about that bar, it was awful!!! I remember my singular focus was on leaving that place. I don’t think I’ve been to a smokier bar, although it could’ve been that my poor lungs just got accustomed to the air. Okay, enough about the smokey bar! I’m in Toronto and I’ll be sure to do the same if I come to Cali, though I might have to check this blog first to see if you’re actually there!
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Better hurry then. 🙂 And I wish I’d known you were in Toronto before I spent a few days there in March. Next time, next time!
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I know this feeling all to well. I usually make it to week three back home before the sleeping gets bad and I start to plan the next trip. I can’t even imagine what it must be like after 5 years! Welcome to the Bay Area, we’re glad to have you 🙂
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Thanks, it’s nice to know I’m not the only one around here who feels this way. I bet there are lots of us, maybe we should start a traveler-addict support group. I’m guessing a group conversation like that would be counter-productive if the goal was to lessen traveler urges, but if that’s not the goal…
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I have the same struggle – I go back and forth all the time. You will find your rhythm. No doubt :). And if you don’t feel settled, maybe it means your journey isn’t over!
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🙂 It’s definitely not over, but I am enjoying this stationary phase, I just have no idea how long it will last (though that’s pretty much the same feeling I had abroad!) But right now there’s a dog curled up by my feet, I cooked my own food this week (mostly), and I know exactly where I’m going to sleep tonight. And extra credit: guaranteed bed bug free. I might not rush off again too soon…
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