Can I ask you a question?
I’m not used to women in bars looking at me like I’m a complete a**hole.
I seem to have misplaced my Scotland photos, so I’ll go with anonymously European ones
Truth be told, I’m not used to women in bars looking at me at all, but here was this woman, mouth twisted in disdain, staring at me with eyes dripping scorn. I wasn’t expecting that reaction.
She’d asked me a familiar question, “Is it difficult being back in the US?” As I mentioned before, it is indeed pretty weird, including the strange sensation of being the same nationality as most other people and specifically: talking the same.
I suppose that’s part of why I’ve been drifting over to accents from the UK more often lately. (In addition to the insecure suspicion that I’m boring when I’m in my native land.)
Accents have always entertained me, since I was a wee lad who would occasionally talk like an Indian who thought he was Jamaican, often discussing who had “plump little bongos.” Nonsensical, but it seemed to entertain my family. I ask anyone who spends a significant amount of time with me to let me know when it gets annoying and I’ll try to stop.
Yesterday I listened to a Freakonomics podcast about tipping, which included a woman who faked a French accent to get more tips. I’ve never done that. I have never used my play to try to gain anything, or deceive anyone in any way that feels exploitative. It’s usually when I ask for directions, which I assume people would answer anyway, but this way they seem to do so with little more of a smile. Is that exploitative? Deceptive?
No harm done. Right?
This woman in the bar did not agree. When I told her that I’ve been faking accents occasionally, she found it a disgusting betrayal of a stranger’s trust. “So you’re basically making fun of everyone you fool, thinking you’re better than them.”
Not in the slightest! I certainly never think less of anyone I speak to. But it tickled a question I’ve long had. Is it wrong? It is basically lying after all…is there such a thing as a victimless crime?
Almost anything you do can be good and bad. Depends on the situation, motivation, execution… I don’t even know what is my real accent when I speak Croatian. It depends on who I am talking to, and I don’t even change t consciously. It’s a way of adapting to your surrounding, and also a way to make people around you feel comfortable. If not used in a bad way, it doesn’t need to be wrong.
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Ah yes, the adapted accent… That one’s dangerous! My brother was traveling through the American south, where he was instantly recognized as an outsider, but welcomed. One day in a diner he offended a woman by calling her “hun” and she thought he was making fun of her, but he hadn’t even realized he’d said it.
And we used to make fun of my mom when she’d acquire an English accent after talking to our family there…maybe that’s where this all started!
I think the adaptive accent is natural on one hand, and actually reassuring on the other, since it may be another way people mirror others around them, which they say is a good way to know someone is NOT a sociopath. So congratulations, you’re probably not a sociopath! (If I adapt accents that are NOT around me, does that mean I’m MORE likely to be one? Uh oh.)
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Well, thank you so much. It’s always nice to start a day with a diagnosis!
If I thought you ARE a sociopath, and if i would go and tell you that on your lovely (and let’s not forget – popular) blog, that would kind of make a sociopath too, I guess. 🙂
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Alright then, we’ll just have to form a Sociopath Blogger Society. Meetings to be held….online only.
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You are funny. It is called lost in between accents. My daughter speaks Hindi with me which is native and am glad that she speaks it. She also speaks with me in English but in Indian accent . The funny part is when she is speaking in English with her friends and “Americans”, her accent is solid American accent. It comes naturally to her. Sometimes I tell her, ” you know I understand American accent completely so you can speak with me in normal accent “. But she says, she can’t … It just comes out natural :).
You may imitate accents but might hurt somebody’s feelings on your way.. If that is unintentional and you are fine with it.. No worries.. You can’t please all the people all the time 🙂
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Ha! That is fascinating about your daughter’s accent in English with you versus with friends. I don’t remember running across anything like that before (and I’m huge a linguistic dork, so would have taken notice). Does she have the Indian accent in her English with anyone else, or just you?
I would definitely hate to hurt anyone’s feelings with my play… I tend to only do it with short-term encounters (asking directions) so that the person won’t have time to get invested in it, which could lead them to feel deceived if they found out… I’m thinking I should stop entirely though!
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With the family 🙂
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But not with her little sister.. Just me and my husband :). Lol
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I think she overeacted. Nevertheless I do understand the issue she took with that. You are a complete stranger talking to a woman about faking your identity ( this is probably how she interpreted it) . This behaviour will be seen as suspicious behaviour to anybody who has their guard up for any reason, worse if it is a female, in a bar, talking to a stranger.
This was probably just a case of miscommunication, overreaction, or simply two very different personalities clashing. The way you explained it here makes me think there is absolutely no harm in the reasons you have for faking an accent. I wouldn’t react that way.
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Oh, I guess I should have specified that I wasn’t pursuing her in any sense of the word, for any of several reasons (I’m not on the hunt these days, her boyfriend was sitting next to her, and she’s my friend’s ex), we were just chatting. But I think you’re right that me being basically a stranger would put her more on her guard, versus if she’d had a chance to get to know me a little better and see for herself that I would never be mocking anyone of feeling superior to them for something like that.
And that’s an important thing to realize, since strangers who I tend to fake it around would have the same absence of context. Hmm…maybe I’ll cut it out around strangers!
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Aha, a friend’s ex! Not a complete stranger then, still , maybe stranger enough to interpret it the wrong way. No strange accents to strangers… I think a pirate accent is OK, and might actually get you a few smiles though, I love a good “Aaaaargh”.
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🙂 I’m not sure pirate is one I could pull off…I think it would morph into a bad Irish…but I’ll give it a try and let you know how it goes!
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Sounds like she just wanted something to pick on about you. Just as there are people you have an instant connection with, there are other who, for equally mysterious reasons, take an instant dislike.
My TESOL teacher made the point that accents can be really strongly associated with personal identity. I’ve never had a strong Okker accent, and it’s something people will bring up… a lot – so it obviously affects other people too 😛 Maybe that’s why she arked up so much?
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That’s part of why it was weird, we were having a nice conversation before that. I actually kind of appreciated her disapproval though, since I’ve always wondered if it was a bad thing to do, but everyone who knows me and heard it found it harmless.
“Okker” accent? Tell me more…
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Okker: really, really, really Australian.
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Ah, I see. If only I could hear as well. Australian is an accent I could never pull of properly, too much Monty Python as a child, too little…Neighbors?
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I once worked with a French guy in Gibraltar. We urged him always to give a show, and so he simulated many people and a single bird 😀 A seagull that turned into a hunter pilot from the 2nd World War. A very refined French nobleman and his frivolous wife and so on. His accent changed with his facial expressions, we were totally enthralled.
I have a suggestion: Instead of a seagull you could consider a worker ant, as the one who took hold in your sole in the jungle 🙂 Sorry but never forget that story of yours 😯
All the best and keep your spirit high,
Hanna
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: ) Haha, I like that idea! Hmm…worker ant… German? Aggressive or smooth?
And I love any story that begins with “I once worked with a French guy in Gibraltar”!
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Yes that was quite an adventure the one on Gibraltar 🙂
Love your idea about a worker ant. He could also be a Sicilian …
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Sicilian, of course! And he talks about food the whole time he’s eating my sandal…
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Hahaha! Lovely detail 😀
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I have to agree with the above comments and, generally speaking, I wouldn’t worry about it. You know what your intent is, so that’s a non-issue. The only concern you might have, I’d think, is what may well have taken place during the interaction you related–potential misinterpretation/misunderstanding on the part of the recipient.
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I think you’re right. I’m thinking I need to be very careful when I give in to the temptation. In the past I just let it come and go as it liked, but going forward I’ll pay attention to circumstances where someone might think I am trying to get something from it, or mocking them.
Only now do I remember having the same problem with funny walks. I was hopping around one day, years ago, and realized someone with a limp might think I was making fun of them. That sobered me up right away! Same thing here I guess.
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Reblogueó esto en We are Anonymous.
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Gracias otra vez!
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For nothing brother. Thank YOU ! ! 😃👍
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Oh I do fake accents too, but just with my friends. I don’t think that it is bad because it is funny and people who can’t take some humour are boring… 😛 I think that the girl overreacted because after all later you told her the truth. So it is not bad in my opinion, as long as you don’t “decieve” anyone. 🙂
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I’m glad to hear I/we are not the only ones playing with accents. When is World Accent Day? Let’s organize that…
(Just checking…and it turns out December 17th is International Talk with a Fake British Accent Day. Are you ready?
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Yes I am. hahaha
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I think anabloggin has it. Way OTT reaction under the circumstances. Don’t see anything wrong with imitating accents for fun and in good humour. Probably technically the person should know you’re doing an imitation.
There’s a grey area, though – our accents do naturally alter somewhat according to circumstance. (We might tend to speak more proper when talking to authority figures, for example.) I know I alter my speech slightly at work so clients and staff can understand me better (saves a lot of useless questioning and repetition).
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My son also has a “school accent” and a “home accent” – he says he switches so people can understand him better.
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Ha! Fascinating. How different are they? Does the “home accent” sound more like you? (Do you have an “okker” accent? Thank you for my new vocabulary 😉 The comments on this blog have been my favorite ever, truly tickling my dorky linguist side.
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They are completely, completely different. It’s not just the accent – even the grammar is different. They’re basically different dialects.
My accent is not very Okker. My son’s home accent is the same as mine. My daughter’s accent is just weird though.
Linguistics is fun!
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I love it! Even the grammar is different? Wow. And your daughter’s is different from your son’s? That’s wild! I am amazed at the concentration of dialects/accents in England and Belgium, but if you can have differences within siblings then I guess it makes sense!
I am again surprised at how little variety we have in the US. I know I’d get shouted down for this, but given how large the country is, we really only have…a half dozen clearly distinct dialects, I’d say.
(And I know, I haven’t been distinguishing between dialects and accents very clearly. I’d say New Yorker is an accent, but Deep South is a dialect, or three.)
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Ahhh I think that lady should take it easy, asking for directions in an accent is nothing. When we were in our early 20s my girlfriends and I often put on American accents when we went out. I’m not even sure why now, maybe we thought it helped us meet boys!
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Ha! I would love to hear your American accent. Did it work? I’ve wondered in the past if a fake accent would help with meeting women, but have never tried it. It always seemed like a timebomb with a short fuse. (I should have mentioned in the blog that I was neither using an accent on her, nor trying to hit on her…relevant information!)
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In terms of your intention it’s harmless. In terms of how they might feel once they learn the truth, maybe not. Maybe you could strike up a conversation where you talk about the different accents you’ve heard and see if they can identify them or which they like best, instead.
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That sounds like a fun conversation, and a challenge to see if I could keep them straight, back to back. I’ve never tried that before, because I feared looking like I was showing off, when it was really just kind of a fun thing to play with. This post is by far the most I’ve ever talked about or analyzed it! It’s actually kind of embarrassing. I may need to post about my breakfast cereal to move it down the page a bit… ; )
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I like some accents more than others. I have a Brooklyn accent accentuated by a Jewish upbringing now in the South with a Southern tilt. I try not to use it. When I went to New York the accent of the Brooklyn boy came back full blown and on my return it took a month to tone it down. For tips I guess its okay. But being phony has its consequences.
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A Brooklyn-Southern blend? That sounds interesting! I can’t quite imagine what it would sound like. I think you’re right that being phony definitely has its consequences, which I tried to address by never really representing myself in any sort of substantial way when playing with an accent. It’s just something for surface interactions, not real introductions or deeper interpersonal conversations. Thanks for the comment!
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