(I will try to post something about Scotland soon, but I just realized I never posted this.)
So…my girlfriend is a supermodel.
Specifically, she was in a store a couple months ago and the owner asked her to be in their annual fashion show, which took place Saturday night in the same hall where we saw the interlude-of-sexual-overtones-during-the-Celtic-concert after the children’s Carnaval. (Just a quick pop quiz to see if you have read my other posts.)
The hall was now dominated by a long stage, which was ringed in densely packed chairs; people here clearly do not worry about fire codes as much as Americans do. (I blame my past as a property manager for noticing that shit. Plus it was hard to climb over the chair backs with a beer in either hand.)
The show was three hours, with an intermission halfway through, and was opened by the town marching band. Apparently many towns have them, and they are collectively called “Fan Fare” bands, which in Dutch sounds sort of like “fahn fahd-uh.” Band members ranged in age from a couple of (maybe) 10 year old girls self-consciously playing flutes while blushing profusely, up to the balls-out carefree sixty-somethings blaring their trumpets and thumping their bass drums.
As a whole, the band had a super funky sort of Gothic Zydeco thing going on. Face paint (green for St Patty’s) and vests. Hats, no two alike. Bracelets and dangly earrings. A mini-troupe of five dancers grooved and whirled with a fair amount of that half-India, half-stripclub movement that you see in hippies everywhere. (I don’t mean to mock that; you keep on floating them hands and moving them hips, girls!)
The Dutch word for “model” is “mannequin” but these local folks were anything but blank-plastic-faced, looking very much human and enjoying themselves. Plus, there was never a mannequin that blushed as profusely as a few of them managed. (Speaking of which…who decided that sulky girls who look like unhealthy 13 year old boys were “sexy”? Seriously, fire the fashion industry.)
Here’s my supermodel girlfriend:
The participants ranged from a maybe 6 year old girl, up to a maybe 60 year old woman. (As you can tell, I am remarkably bad at guessing ages.)
The 6 year old wore a little bird on a hairclip for her third outfit, and it stayed resolutely put throughout the rest of the show, I‘m guessing at her insistence. The 60 year old did a lengthy and impressive salsa dance in heels on the narrow stage.
The guys were all 20-ish, and did a good job looking confident while simultaneously exquisitely self-conscious.
The final set was wedding-themed, starring an adorable little older couple who took a circuit of the stage, smiles relentless. No one seemed to know who they were, but no one cared. I mean, just look at them!
Now that’s my kind of fashion show.