Why is my head so constipated?
The question, comment, or discussion will sound good in my head before I start, all the Spanish/Dutch/Italian verbs lined up obediently, but once I try to bring it into the real world? Nada, nix, niente.
You nailed that song when you sang it in the car, but now that it’s Wednesday night at Hulu Island Grill and Tiki Room and there’s a karaoke mic in your hand…not so much.
Why is it that the process of formalizing, realizing, enacting something, even in a basic, beginner form, can so kill it?
I love stories, whether to my ears, from my mouth, or out of my fingertips in this blog, so why do they suddenly seem so alien to me now that I’ve attended an actual writing conference?
The staff at the Book Passage Travel Writers and Photographers Conference was so accessible, so amiable…and yet the equation still came though.
- Americans don’t read.
- Americans don’t travel.
- Americans sure as hell don’t read about travel.
But F that, I want to do it anyway. So why does it feel like my word-brain has been anaesthetized and sent home for summer vacation?
There have just been so many distractions and other things that needed doing over the past two weeks! Excuse.
The idyllic peace of a Portland summer afternoon is thick comfort and succulent ease! Excuse.
I’m intimidated by the quality of writing of others and fear that I have nothing worthwhile to say. Truth.
So? Start here. Uncork the brain and let the constipated sentences grind their way out.
Some of you might be shifting uncomfortable in your seats at that one. That makes me feel better already.
So here I am on the back porch, a cup of mediocre iced tea close at hand and far too many tortilla chips already eaten, going to start because what the hell, why not?
Oh my..did your eyes glued to somebody that made you stuck on your speech ;))?.. “Hota hai hota hai”….means it happens, it happens in Hindi…lol… But seriously, how how how….you are well travelled, well seasoned ;)… Well grilled and just froze in the moment…..time to get back to being in between people than roaming in the jungles…..vagabond needs a break :))…lol…
: ) It’s a some-time thing. If I have too much time to think about something I’m going to say, then sometimes I stutter it. If it’s a quick response I’m usually fine. But you’re right, it is time for a break…I never expected it to be this difficult to stop traveling!
I blogged on a version of this topic about 3 1/2 years ago (http://lightscapesphotography.wordpress.com/2010/01/18/the-photographic-doldrums/). I have no idea if it will be helpful to you or not, but there it is.
BTW, Americans won’t read about travel? There are an awful lot of (relatively) successful travel writers who will be surprised and disappointed at this piece of news that the conference staff informed you of. 🙂
Thanks for the reference, the stagnation is upon me indeed. I think in this case though it’s more the result of intimidation with taking something that was always personal and a hobby for me, and trying to take it to a higher level. And at the same time, going from the relatively isolated experience of traveling alone, to being around other people doing amazing work, and wondering how I fit in with that. But in the end, I’ll do it because I want to do it, and reception, opinions, all that…? Irrelevant.
And I agree, even if most Americans don’t travel, or read, there are still plenty of us who do both! And those are the ones I would want as an audience anyway!
Have faith! You’re really very good! 🙂
Thank you, that’s very nice of you to say!
It’s daunting to not know if you’re good enough at something, then hear that even if you are, you still probably won’t “make it” commercially, until I remember that that’s not what I am hoping to get out of this anyway. It’s not nearly so serious as all that; there’s fun to be had here!