How long until that grows out?
I got The Haircut again.
In Nicaragua, Morocco, and Myanmar I liked it, described it as “Much lighter, now I won’t sweat so much” and “my tiny shampoo bottle will last longer.” Here, it’s more “I am applying for the job of Faceless Peon in the soulless depths of your accounting corporation” and “you can call me Penis Head.”
Maybe my standards are just too high now. After all, in those places, I was just happy I could describe The Haircut without a shared language: point at the sides and back of the head while making buzzing noises, point at the top and hold thumb and forefinger an inch apart, and any peluquero or barberji will know what you mean. Gracias, shokran, and chezu tinbade.
Whereas here, I got demanding. “Can you leave the top long, and just thin out or trim the sides and back so it’s not so shaggy?” We differed in our interpretations of that request, the hair butcher and I. I was thinking “dignified, adult, but still warm for winter.” She was chuckling “White boy gonna look like one big boring peepee.”
Was it my imagination that people on BART were less friendly after my cranial misdecoration? No one wanting to talk to the guy with the dickhead haircut? Or was it a vibrational consequence of an afternoon reading journals from my first awkward days abroad? Either way, I felt sweaty when I got off the train.
But riding home was restorative, as always. The music in my ears was still perfect, my friend the night heron was perched in hunch-shouldered brooding on his normal set of buoys in Lake Merritt, and the night air felt perfect on my naked neck, dumbass hairchop or not.
And it made me realize one other thing. One other priority. One you can perhaps help me with:
Anybody know a Halloween costume I could pull off, one that includes a hat of some sort?
Whatm no haircut picture
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I was hoping no one would ask for that! I actually took one, but couldn’t get past the awkwardness of a mirror selfie… Alright, fine. (It looks better here, after riding home last night. It’s worse this morning, but I can’t face another selfie!) Let’s see if I can figure out how to post it here…does this work?
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Dude, hilarious post and that trim don’t look bad ‘tall.
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It was so much worse when she finished cutting it. She’d combed it, for starters. That was where the job applicant vibe came from, I guess. And I couldn’t bring myself to post one of the pics where I look utterly ridiculous, I guess I’m more vain than I thought. (Vainer? That can’t be right, can it?)
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It’s settled out overnight. Not too bad. (I need an immediate “before” shot to compare.)
Accounting, eh? What about the face stubble then? 🙂
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Aye, my lady was insistent that it wasn’t actually “The Haircut” after all. It’s just that when it was combed down, in the mirror of the place, it looked AWEFUL. Nothing a bare-headed bicycle ride and a night’s sleep couldn’t improve on, though. She says I should go back to the same place, and I’m inclined to agree.
Ah, I’m too San Franciscan I guess, we all have stubble these days. I love living in a place and time where minimal grooming is required of my tribe. (Was I a jerk for singling out the accountants? I feel bad for that. But then again, they know.)
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I think they’re used to it. I’ve known many accountants.
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