I’m kind of naive.
I’m kind of naive. And I’m trying to stay that way. But with the right approach.

I wanted to use this in my signs post. Kinda makes sense here too, no?
I believe opinion bubbles are a bad thing. Groups of like-minded people only ever talking to each other, never considering other viewpoints. And I dearly, desperately wish I could remember the name of the guy (he was interviewed on The Daily Show for crying out loud) whose study showed that moderates who do this, on any branch of the political spectrums (spectrae?) will push each other into more extreme views. Our country, our planet, does not need more extremism. We need more cooperation, compromise, and concubines. (Sorry, needed a third “co” for my list. Moving on.)
So I’m left with a determination to find people who don’t agree with me, and talk to them. This is dangerous and difficult in America, a land that has forgotten how to discuss and remembers only how to fight. “You don’t agree with me? You must be my enemy! Mrrrah!”

I wonder what these guys, on a train in Myanmar, would have had to say?
But standing around agreeing isn’t very interesting. Testing your opinions to see if you still agree with them, that’s fun! So I was terribly excited to learn that my employer encourages us to talk about real issues with people. To challenge their assumptions, even if it makes them uncomfortable. Excellent!
Now I just need to practice being tactful. Crud-monkeys.
I don’t remember the specifics, but it was basically “Islam is a religion of violence!” followed by assorted xenophobic foaming at the mouth and idiotic posturing devoid of any understanding of the world, much less compassion for it. I thought my comment was pretty good. Respectful. Non-mocking. Fact-based and reasonable, even in the face of their chest-pounding idiocy. Something small, about my personal experience with Muslims and in Muslim countries, how I’ve always found them to be marvelous, welcoming, kind people with inspiring hospitality.

Ahhh! Scary Muslims! Giving away free food to the public because it’s a holiday… Terrifying. (Malaysia)
The response? It was interesting to be on the receiving end of a deluge of hatred, misplaced rage, and threats of violence. Thank you, facebook, for that lovely experience. Turn notifications off, please.
But I was fighting the good fight! Right?
“No, no you shouldn’t have made that comment.” Said my distressingly insightful British friend. “Because when you advocate a different view in a group like that, you’re not offering a different opinion, you’re providing a focal point for their rabid self-agreement. They’re not going to remember your one dissenting view, they’re going to be reassured by their twenty angry responses. It’s counterproductive.”
Damn. He was right.
So what now? Don’t try? Let everyone keep drilling down into the bedrock of their own unquestioned certainty, until we all reach the core and the planet fractures apart? No. I work hard at maintaining an open mind, and following the light of that British lantern, I can look for others who do the same, from different starting grounds. But when people have already taken the bit of their self-certainty in their teeth? Let them ride off into the angry sunset. I’ll be here if they ever come back.

Or one can go on thinking everyone overseas is scary. Like this guy.
So what does that mean for my professional parlance? Call me travel-philic, but I believe anyone who pays time and money to go abroad is probably a rather questioning, open mind. My people! Drawn from all over the country, I look forward to a beautiful diversity of opinion, from outside my Bay Area bubble (which is not as progressive as it thinks it is, by the way).
And in the meantime, how about the much-reviled blogosphere? Anybody have anything they’d like to talk about? (Special points if you can advocate for Trump. That’s a viewpoint I thoroughly do not understand.)
No use talking to me. We agree on things.
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And yet I want to talk to you anyway!
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So when are you coming to Australia for a chat?
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Hah! I love not agreeing with people! You should hear the boyfran and I argue feminism. Fur flies!
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I love a good debate but keep my mouth shut these days. We seem to have lost the ability to actually listen to each other. By the way, have you seen the youtube videos, the “Quran Experiment” (and copycats), in which people on the street are read what they think are violent passages from the Quran–but surprise! surprise!–the passages are from the Bible?
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Yes! I have. I loved them, especially the faces on the people when they found out.
You shouldn’t shut up, just choose who you argue with… In so much as sometimes I find that some people are great for arguing with. Especially if they have a polar view to mine because sometimes I totally learn something new or seed something from a different perspective. I love it. But then there’s others who you just can’t even.
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I was just so in love with this discussion I couldn’t figure out what to say about it. I suppose that in itself kind of conveys what I mean.
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Yes 🙂
It means we should never shut up & yabber the ears off everyone!
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Love this post for all the right reasons 🙂 I guess we can’t be friends 😀
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hahaha I’m sure we’ll manage.
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Two words: confirmation bias. It’s never been easier to communicate (with people who agree with you) than it is today.
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So very, tragically, true. These niche websites and “discussion” boards seem dangerous to me. I feel like part of the human brain’s brilliance (and weakness) is its susceptibility to peer pressure and community beliefs. When we limit what beliefs we hear, our notions of what’s “right” in our community are limited and defined.
Sorry, I’m preaching to the choir, aren’t I? I just can’t seem to help myself!
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I applaud your efforts. I find it harder and harder to summon up the energy to argue with people. I blame it on reading “The Political Brain” some years ago. Fascinating and depressing all at once. Have you read it? It basically demonstrates how it’s nigh on impossible to change anyone’s mind – and certainly not with evidence that’s contrary to their views, which they will dismiss as biased/wrong/lies. That’s not a reason to stop trying, I suppose, but sadly a reason not to expect a lot of success.
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Oy, I completely feel your pain. I remember feeling like the word “stubborn” was pretty much useless, since I couldn’t recall anyone ever not being quote/unquote stubborn. I haven’t read that book, and simultaneously want to, and want to flee from it. I’m already kind of depressed about studies showing fundamentally different neurological responses to difficult stimuli in conservative and liberal brains. (http://www.dailykos.com/stories/2016/2/7/1479602/-Appetite-for-destruction-Biology-psychology-socialization-and-the-Republican-mind?detail=email) On the one hand, brain chemistry seems kinda hard to talk to, and on the other, at least it helps understand how people who disagree with me can be so wrong about things that are so obvious. 😉
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Agreed! Although I actually find myself more critical of travelers that don’t venture out of their own bubbles and strive to go through their vacations as if they were still at home than I am of locals at home in the US. It is hard, at home, to understand what is out there, to understand what is that you’ve never been exposed to. But I wish people would at least realize their own naivete, ha! Well, you can’t have it all, can you? 😉
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Good point! And I entirely agree. (Convenient, that.) I think it’s worthwhile to get outside of your like-minded community all the time, but to pass up the opportunity to do it really well, while traveling, would be a waste. And it would miss what for me is one of the fundamental reasons to go.
Do you think globalization and the massive growth of tourism are having any impact on this? Or maybe the increased numbers are actually making it easier not to contact anything different, facilitated by technology?
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Yes! I really think the increased numbers make it easier for people to stay in their bubbles. I always claim I hear more English in Florence than I do in the small border town that I’m from next to Mexicali, Mexico. But who knows. Maybe increased exposure to world cultures through availability of goods and media, entertainment, etc makes traveling seem more accessible to to certain types of people who would have never traveled 30 years ago…what do you think?
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It’s an interesting idea. I wish I knew where the line between exposure and exploitation was, though. (Thinking of a blog about cultural appropriation vs appreciation, here: http://jackiemallon.com/2016/02/09/cultural-appropriation-or-culturally-appropriate/)
I think the other myth we need to dispel is that travel has to be expensive, so belongs only to the wealthy. It’s certainly a privilege, but one that’s available to more people than might realize.
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Both important issues, great points. I’ll check out the blog, thanks for that.
Yes, the traveling for the wealthy perception is so ingrained in American culture’s “living to work” approach to life…even when my friends have the money, there’s almost a stigma against taking off work, even if the vacation days are there for the taking. I guess we just have to keep blogging and piquing their interest…:)
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🙂 Sounds like a plan!
And thank you, I hadn’t seen the connection before between the “travel is super expensive” idea and the “live to work” addiction. Of course! It’s so obvious now. One needs to believe (or at least say) that travel is too expensive, to assist the justification of our excessive work ethic. Interesting!
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I think…just a theory. Last night I was talking to the photographer on contract with the theatre I freelance for. He’s into cars and I was trying to convince him to go to Italy and check out the Ferrari museum, Ducati factory, etc. He had been saying a few minutes earlier that he’s done great financially with his photography business. But he said he’d have to wait until “later” to travel. He said, “I know exactly where I’ll be a year from now, taking pictures at the opera, and I can’t turn down this work and travel because what if they don’t hire me again?” (even though he’s had these contracts for a decade, at least) I get his anxiety, but I also see how a lifetime of being addicted to work has shaped how he thinks.
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Fascinating. I can’t say, since I don’t know the guy, but that does seem like a situation that would allow a little time overseas. I understand the desire to make a trip last a month or nine, but surely a week or two would be possible? So interesting, the way culture, personality, and economics all come together in this stuff.
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Yes, totally. And I get that the world is full of different personalities, and some of them just aren’t interested in traveling. But I’d still like to think that everyone could benefit from traveling…
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